Amir Meister's blog

This is my life...!!loving it!!SPM go die!!

11:53 PM by amir meister

tee hee!!I'M BACK!!

normally people take a time out from blogging this time of the year so that they can study for the mid year exams and to 'get ready' for SPM!!Not me!!

So,i was kinda worried last few weeks cuz everytime i open my wallet,cute little butterflies come out...but not any more...cuz im loaded now!!!wow....so cool!!....

and hmm...i enjoyed yesterday...

Reminiscing 30th April 2009

drove to school,reached about 7.30,friends were not very please to see my presence as i was responsible to photostat sejarah notes.And because i came to school they had to pass up their work.

well,so i photostatted the notes and gave it to some of the hardworking students in my class.

since i nvr had a sejarah note book,the teacher punished me.She asked me to do 50 ear squats.

Well,haha...like i would ever mortify my dignity in front of the not so smart students in my class...i refused to do the 50 ear squats and that got my name into the disciplinary book.Like i give a damn.!! ; )

so then i was asked to answer some lame sejarah questions which obviously i couldnt answer and that got me standing in front of the class...haha...

then i walked around and made a racquet in class...not long after that,i got myself sent out from my class...i hit the jackpot..!! ; D

i got to ponteng wif permission...!!!!!!!!!!yeah!!!!!!!!!!

not long after that my friends informed me that the teacher wrote my name AGAIN in the disciplinary book.this time for ditching sejarah lesson..huh??

come on,i was sent out from class and got my name in the book for not being in class..doesnt make any sense does it..?? ; )

after the sejarah lesson, i walked around the school trying to get permission to skip school...hoohoo!!

since my friend is the president of the rugby team,he got me the permission slip to skip school...

reason-to get ready for the 'upcoming' rugby competition..haha...

then i drove my friends to town and we ate there....they did their business...and i watched them...lol...

then,approximately around 2,i picked up my gf and we went to qb...wanted to watch wolverine but then i think the time was not on our site...

so we went to BJ!!haha...and for the 2nd time of my life,i watched a malay movie in theaters...yeah!!!!the movie was shitty and i didnt even get to see the ending..lol...

then i went to msn(majlis sukan negeri i think)...met some tennis friends..they wanted to have a drink wif me but then i had tuition...

went back home,too tired to go tuition..fainted!!lol.. ; )

woke up at around 10.00...went out for late dinner...tomyam!!yeah!!!check it out!!

then played poker on fb...lost!!lol...

woke up and realized my whole family went to kl and i have the whole house to myself...

so..haha....i dunno wats gonna happen tonight but im sure it'll be GOOD!!

will be having exams in another 2 weeks and will be dying in another 100 years or so...

i rather enjoy my life and get ready for my death than getting ready for the not at all important exam...!!!guys dunt follow my lifestyle..im different...girls,just be jealous... ; D

kiss me through the blog,see you later on..haha...luv that song...go soulja boy!! x D

p.s. ignore the gay-ish smilies... X D

Posted in 11:53 PM | 0 comments

If i were a GIRL!!! by Beyond Say!!

3:34 AM by amir meister

Hey,im feeling kinda bored and my Windows media player is currently playing the song 'If I were a boy' by Beyoncé. And so this is my version,more of a parody of the song by her.

I love Beyoncé though!!! She rocks...!

If i were a girl,

Im sure to have t*ts,

Im forced to shave of my armpits,

I wouldn't bother ever to get fit,

I'll always cry like a little kid,

If i were a girl,

I'd want blonde hair just to look cool,

I'd show off everyday in school,

I wont study for SPM,i'd rather jump into a pool,

I'd wear skimpy clothes and make my friends drool,

I'd have to wear make ups and look like a fool,

I'd have to follow rules,

I'll always have PMS and charge like a bull,

I'll have to carry lipsticks, eyeliners,and other crappy tools,

And all these stuff will make my handbag full....

If i were a girl,

I'd try to look cute,

Attract every dude,

And try not to be rude,

I'd have problems with my mood,

and i'd stay slim and wont eat food,

I'd wear a pantyhose to look good,

And i'd want my ass as firm as any wood,

I'd also wear a long and sexy boot,

Omg,and i cant take off my shirt cuz then i'll be nude,

If i were a girl,

I'd set my handphone to vibrate,

So that i'll be late,

On the so called important date,

I'll change my name to Kate,

I'd want my boyfriend to pick me from my house gate,

I'd give his Mercedes a 10/10 rate,

To make him jealous,i'll create an imaginary mate,

And make him cry till his face turns red,

I'll grasp all his bread,

to show that im great,

Oh my gosh,look at my fate,

I would never want to be in a girly state.

I tried singing this version in the real 'If I wear a boy' tune and it sounded oddly cool!!

haha...so...

Till we meet again in the next post...

-Amir-

Posted in 3:34 AM | 0 comments

Cross country 2009...Pfs stupid tradition!!

7:46 AM by amir meister

The Start

We gathered at youth park. Some teachers were dancing on the stage claiming they were doing the aerobic dance.To me it was just like any other lame dance you see people doing on stage intending to crave for ultimate attention from students. The distance of the whole course was generally standardized to be approximately 8KM...i think! However there will be little in common between the two courses other than their length. As such, accurate comparisons cannot be made between the performances of the entire school community.A form 5 experienced runner would definitely be able to complete an eight km race track faster than a form 1 asshole who is probably just starting to learn how to walk.So their track was significantly shorter and they had a lead start way beyond us.So,returning to the subject of myself...I woke up at 6am!

Drove to youth park.Met some of my friends.Then after the stupid dance and a lecture from the school teachers on the precautions that must be taken before the race and during the race!(like anyone will die in a cross country race!)

Then the whistle was blowed.All the slowpokes leaded the race...Only for 3 minutes though.By then,most of them punctured and died on the track.Im gonna be a little too dramatic in this post so please ignore the slightly exaggerative expressions!So i gleefully ran passed the dead idiots when i realized something.I was carrying a huge bag on my shoulder and i had to carry 7.5KM more.....Oh GOD!!

Then i ran for 5 minutes.Then i passed moongate and i stopped.I wanted to CHEAT!So i walked into moongate.Waited there for 5 minutes,and then a senior ran passed me in the opposite direction and he told me there was i check point ahead of me where they'll stick stickers on the runners to identify the non-cheaters.So,i had to continue and discard the idea of cheating.

And there i was running like a mad buffoon carrying the 3 kg Nike bag on my shoulders hoping for a dumb,sorry....kind guy to help me.And to my surprise,this dude that was running beside me was telling me that he had the stamina of a stallion and could run a million Km more without feeling tired.So,i asked him to hold my bag and run.And god knows my he accepted the challenge,and i sprinted all the way to the finishing line.

Then i drove to gurney drive.Ate in Khaleel.Then played pool in gurney.Then went to Strike.Played CS.

So i guess i had fun today.Actually i did many other things today.made fun of lots of assholes also...

i lazy type sumore ler.....so i guess my post ends here...n i got 30 sumthing in the cross country race...WEEEEEEEE!!....; )

Posted in 7:46 AM | 0 comments

Dont support earth hour! Written at 8.30 p.m on the 28th of March 2009!

4:27 AM by amir meister

28th March 2009

So called earth day. ;p

In honour of the Not so smart idea of earth hour, I wasn't stupid enough to turn off the lights in my house.In fact,i actually took the initiative to go and turn on all the lights outside my room.Not only that,i turned on all my electrical devices(Mp3 player,laptop,pc,PSP,dvd player), popped open a couple of mosquito repellent cans,i even turned on my car engine(also the spot lights).Turning off the lights during the earth hour(28th March 2009) is supposed to be a symbolic act to tell the world how global warming may be reduced by lowering your power consumption.To tell you the truth,even a dimwitted ass hole with a pea brain will know this is BULLSHIT.

First and foremost,i would like to 'presume' the supposed benefits of earth hour.

*to maintain the earth's temperature

*to reduce the power consumption for one hour??

*to initiate awareness to save electrical energy

Everyone knows that the increase in temperature is due to the irresponsible doings of assholes who go around destroying the natural habitats and such.By turning off the lights for an hour,you logically wouldn't be able to drastically reduce the earth's Co2 gas. And if you really have love towards our mother nature then i insist that everyone who supported earth hour STOP BREATHING! You would really do smart people like us and earth a favour by reducing the carbon dioxide gas. And if we reduce carbon dioxide gas,plants will die,and when plants die,we die!So,stop this utter nonsense and go and on the lights...

To reduce consumption of energy??Come on....!If you really want to save on energy usage then go to the nearest 7/11 or any stupid market n go get ur room a florescent bulb instead of the normal shiny bulb.

Now the pleasure of the truth will be revealed.

Seriously,If i were a smart ass convict,i'll be waiting for some f face to come up with this kind of so called awareness campaign. Just imagine all the street lights and building lights turned off,the whole city would certainly be gloomy and dark. And without doubt, this will undisputedly initiate the hormones in me and the next thing you know i'll be in your house and robbing every single valuable belongings you have.In addition,i can also rape you alive and run away without being identified.I can also kill anybody i like and break into any shop that i want.I can also break in the dude who originally planned this whole thing and give him a slap.He wouldn't know!!!

This stupid campaign will never work. How can they possibly turn off the traffic lights. Just to save the environment they don't mind inviting unavoidable accidents to happen. Besides,imagine if the hospitals start turning off the lights just to join in the stupidity.A patient suffering from Dialysis(the kidney thingy we learn in Bio),will not be able to regulate his urea level in blood and will die before the doctors turn on the lights.They would rather kill these not so innocent lives just to save the environment. The only thing they can do is probably turn off the main lights and this will most definitely won't make any difference.So why the heck even turn off the lights?

So,i strongly propose that in the year 2010,Don't support earth hour because its a complete waste of calories(also energy) to actually go and turn off the lights!

p.s. i wrote this post during the earth hour campaign! haha!

-Amir-

Posted in 4:27 AM | 4 comments

Stop Wars episode 6 1/2..(may the fart be with you)

4:28 AM by amir meister

Stop Wars episode 6 1/2

Long long time ago,in a galaxy....in our very own galaxy to be truthful,

there lived a young and handsome Jedi named Amirkin Flyslayer.

Amirkin Flyslayer or more commonly known as the 'chosen one' was rescued by a very powerful and strong Jedi knight named Qui-Gon-Jinx.

He is believed to be the chosen one and foretold by the Jedi prophecy to bring a balance in the impulsive force of physics.(F=ma,F=mv-mu/t).

After 3 long gruesome years,Amirkin visited Jabba The Hutt.It took three years because Amir flew to Tattoo-ink(Tatooine) using The millennium Falcon(It takes a millennium to get anywhere,lol).

Amirkin:whats your middle name Jabba?

Jabba:'The'

Amirkin:what a weird name dude!

Jabba:shut up mate! im gonna kill you

Amirkin:chill,lets go have dinner in Pizza 'Hutt'(Jabba the hutt's home,lol)..

Jabba:yeah,now ur talking!

However,The Jedi Council, led by Yo-da, sense that Amirkin's future is clouded with fear and refuse to let Obi-One-Canopy to train Amirkin.

Yo-da: i sense a dark force in you,you cant become a JEDI!!!

Amirkin: (inserts his hand in his pocket and gave Yoda something)

Yo-da: You bought me a YO YO..yay!! You can train with us then!

Meanwhile, Amirkin realizes there was someone sitting by the side of the room.And it was Hans solo.

Amirkin:why are you lonely?

Hans Solo:cause im solo! (hahahhaha)

Amirkin then turned his head the other side and he was flattered by the presence of a hot and sexy girl named Princess Pad-me (Padmé).

Amirkin:hey hottie!!

Pad-me:Hey handsome,lets go shopping!

Amirkin:yeah,i know this good place to shop,Its called the Darth Mall(darth Maul).

then,Amirkin and Pad-me got married 3 years later(when Pad-me was 15)....after 2 days,Pad-me died....(high 5..!! she was boring!!)

Amirkin then hired the Correlian space pilot and smuggler Hans solo and his Wookie co-pilot Chewbacca to take on Darth Va'dork'.

Then Amirkin took a lightsaber and poke Darth Va'dork's nose.And finally Amirkin restored peace.The creatures and assholes living in the planet of Nabooo were all very happy.

haha.....

The end!

-Amir Meister-

Posted in 4:28 AM | 0 comments

randomness!!!!!!!!!

9:42 AM by amir meister

random!!My mission is to blog something random...hopefully i succeed...

im not gonna 'try' to blog anything in this post because this is a post about randomness.And if i make any effort to think and write a stupid post about something,then it wouldn't be called random anymore...would it??

Oh shit by even asking the question above i have lost the opportunity to be random.Let me give it another try.Today i played pool and i won.Now thats what i call random.I had no intention to actually win but i won. But then again,im a born winner.So does that make me random??i don't think im random.I can't be random.Random is random. What am i blabbering??Oh i forgot.Im blogging about randomness.No wait by asking whether im random or not. Isn't that not being random?and i just asked another question. You see by having an intention to voice out my opinion or even asking the questions above..shows that im not being random at all. Help!how to be random? I don't think i can think of anything random that truly is random or that hasn't been done. Its impossible to not think before i do something so i guess it ceases to be random because it's a conceived idea.

Right there there is this little thing called universe providing us with a moment of randomness. for example, while we are waiting for the bus,instead of looking at your watch,you look around,dig your nose,LIVE IN THE MOMENT! I think that even if we commit ourselves, it is possible to incorporate randomness by living in the moment and accepting inconvienences as blessings.

Now how random can i be?to a certain extend of myself being as random as possible, i cannot be any random anymore.This is because...oh my gosh, im starting to think.....To be on the right track of not being any random im not even going to complete the sentence.

I have heard people proclaiming that random is when someone cannot make up a decision and he chooses something over the other without any motive.

This is a random post about randomness and i apologize for any lame remarks of being random.After all,this is a post about being random! ;)

thats all,im tired and i wanna go sleep....by random viewers of my blog!!! lol... ;)

-Amir Meister-

Posted in 9:42 AM | 0 comments

Stop watching porn!!

1:45 AM by amir meister

Go watch porn!

I know you pervert readers are gleefully trying to move your mouse pointer to type a porn website now.

Hold that move!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't!Think again before you do so!

Im not gonna be your dad and say porn is wrong,and neither am i going to play the role of your sex buddy and say porn is right.Its based on your own self definition and perception on this controversial matter.

It really depends on the effects of porn.

First, let's take for granted that by watching porn you are increasing the demand for porn and therefore encouraging its production. This is true no matter whether porn is wrong or not.

If porn does increase sexual aggression and the likelihood of rape, sexual harassment and other undesirable behaviors, then watching it will allow more people to view it over a longer period of time. This will increase the number of people inclined towards sexual aggression.This is bad.

It also depends on who is being exploited, manipulated or dehumanised.
If porn dehumanises the women performing in it, or even women who have nothing to do with it porn would be wrong. So,i guess if it is a form of entertainment or probably the only way to relieve your stressed out life,then go ahead.However,if you think that you will be addicted to it.Then i suggest you dont watch porn.Addiction to porn is a real trauma,imagine being in a house without any information superhighway to satisfy your lust,i bet you the next thing you do is finding a whore.This is bad and it'll cause a chain reaction and you will be fantasizing about sex 24/7 and it will cause an alternative route towards your ambition and goals in the future.

You will soon realise that you will

-be a school drop out,

-fail SPM,

-no job,

-become a pimp,

-get caught by a policeman,

-go jail,and rot...

or maybe you fail SPM,

-no job,no money,

-no hot wife,

-bored of the not so sexy wife,

-rape a girl,